ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
And the actual...clang clang clang clang clang clang clang
Oh, look out! That sound means one of you is exactly right
! And whoever it is will receive a $500 bonus!
The actual retail price of that poker table is...$2,250
Archviler, you are the winner! Come join me up here on stage!
(Archviler hurries onto the stage, seems genuinely excited)
Arch, here's your $500. You've got yourself a little gambling money there to go with that poker table, and you have a chance to win even more! Randy, tell him how much he can win!$16,000!
That's right, Arch! You can win up to $16,000 playing It's in the Bag, and I bet you know how to play. Randy, please tell us about these grocery items!Pringles super stack original potato crisps are the preferred snack for those intolerant of chips that aren't neatly aligned in an easy-to-open canister. Pringles -- look for the canister with the creepy, porn 'stache guy's face on the label.Purina Cat Chow Indoor features an improved taste your cat probably won't even notice because it's a cat. Its 25 essential vitamins and minerals will make you feel like you're properly caring for your feline companion, but your cat would probably be just as well off with a less expensive, generic brand.Citrucel Orange Smart Fiber Powder, because we have an older demographic we'd rather pretend doesn't exist but can't completely ignore because they still represent the majority of our audience. Use as directed.A 40 ounce can of Bruce's Yams. Bruce's Yams use only the sweet and tender heart of the yam -- that's why they're so delicious. America's number one selling yams are Bruce's Yams. Bruce's: America's Sweetheart.Tylenol PM 100 count extra strength caplets temporarily relieves minor aches and pains, such as headaches brought on from dealing with trolls on an internet forum and muscle aches resulting from hours upon hours of sitting in a chair stalking people on social media. Tylenol PM, use as directed.Was that Wendy's chili the guy at the drive thru just handed you too hot, and you dropped it on your brand new khaki pants? Well, good luck with getting that out. But for minor stains that can be cleaned up on the fly, there's Tide To Go pens!
Now, Arch, I want you to take a good look at those grocery products.| CHIPS | CAT FOOD | LAXATIVE | YAMS | PAIN RELIEVER | STAIN REMOVER |
Tell me which you believe is $1.59, which is $4.89, $11.99, $5.99, and $9.99 -- in that order.