Well hello
I am the titular Hans from this episode.
First off I want to say thank you to this site for the amazing study guide and general commentary on the day to day goings on of this show.
So someone referred me to a TPIR producer and conducted a Zoom interview with me. I was invited to come to CBS studios with 3-4 friends who could potentially be called down. I held no fantasies about being one of the 9 to be called down for the show but I was nonetheless ready to have fun. 2 nights before I was scheduled to come to the studio, I was invited to potentially tape for a prime time episode with a celebrity guest. I quickly said yes and the rest was history.
In line that day I saw plenty of other folks who would have made wonderful and excellent contestants. I have no idea why I was picked other than showing off how excited I was to be in line and how much I wanted to play Cliffhangers (cuz Yodely Guy’s name is Hans!). When the show started, I was optimistic about being placed in the back of the studio but obviously when the First Four were called down I was worried about my actual televisual value.
So getting called down second was such a thrill. Wow. I couldn’t believe it happened. I ran down and nearly knocked down one of the pod stands. I gave a bid that won. I got to come up. It was happening.
The Money Game. I’d read the strategy on this. Of the three possible first two digits, pick the lowest and the highest. I picked 32. Money. I picked 30. Money. I picked 31. Car. I should have realized at this point that they were making this easy for Primetime. I went 14, el Cheapo of the board. Money. Finally I went the highest number on the board, 96. Money. No Mini for me, the correct next number was 85, which Rachel had said. Bummer. At least I get to spin the wheel.
First girl gets to Spin (after winning $100 in Punch). 95. Well. This was nice while it lasted.
I spin. 95. What.
Spin off. I win. What.
I wait for the showcase. Lenora had won the audience’s affection for being the last First Four to come up and winning a hard Hi Lo playing.
She gets the first showcase and I’m surprised she keeps it, a Harley, a Mazda, and Gucci shoes. I’m shocked she bids $48000. Seems high.
I hear my showcase. Living room, maybe $5k. Catskills, maybe $4k. Pontoon boat?

? Well. The rule of thumb I heard on Golden Road was $1k per foot. This was a 22ft boat. Let’s go $22k + $10k. But also I’m pretty sure she’s way over. And also I wanna signal to those I am a LFAT. $28251.
During the commercial break drew goes “I am
VERY curious how this will end up. That’s a nice boat.” I figure im fucked.
Drew comes back and reads our prices. Im
Under by $33k. She’s over. I win.
What.